The G Running Diary

I'm Back: 7/29/03

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Well, I found out it was Socrates who said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." But sometimes you are too busy living to examine it. Or maybe just when I do have time, I am tired, or overwhelmed, or just want a beer. It is a week since I was at the starting line of the Badwater 135. Part of me wishes I was back there. Part of me is still there. The rest of me is trying to adjust to being back in society. I have trouble remembering what I am supposed to be doing here. The lives of other people have become harder to understand, and I know people don't understand me. How could they when I can't even explain myself? I'm not even sure what I went through. My dreams are of Badwater. I wake up thirsty and go back to sleep, where I'm back running the endless race. What if life were like that all the time? That all you did was just keep running or walking? I don't know if that would have any more purpose than a normal life in society. None of us really knows what we are doing here anyway. I suppose this is the Zen part of running.

There is an interview with Chris Kostman on the "Running on the Sun" DVD that we got in our race goodie bag. Chris is the race director for Badwater. He talked about ultrarunners and why they do it. I liked that he talked about other people's perceptions of ultrarunners, that other people think training is a sign of "such strong dedication." But it is just what ultrarunners do. Like breathing. It isn't something that is done in order to stay fit. It is just part of being. I was going to say it's not hard, but sometimes it is. But whether it's hard or not doesn't matter. It doesn't make any difference to whether we run or not. It just is what it is.

I feel good today. I might even be able to go running.